Last week was one of those weeks. You know, those weeks where everything your littles (and hubby?!) say or do irritates the daylights out of you. I’m pretty sure I can blame my week on my lack of sleep and thus short fuse, and when I make it through weeks like this it’s funny to look back on how laughable some of it was. I’m listing some of my bruises’ biggest pet peeves (specifically from last week) below.
The “BUT MOMMY…”.
Luca started this recently. He starts every sentence (even if it’s a simple statement, and not, in fact, in disagreement with something I’ve said) with this. “But Mommyyyy, when can we go to the playground?” “But Mommyyyy, I want to watch more games” (he calls youTube kids ‘games’). “But Mommyyy, you said I could have a snack.” I’ve started doing it back to him and he stares incredulously at me like he’s never heard it before, and like I’M the crazy one.
The “BUT WHY…”.
The classic 2-year-old discovering he can question his parents. I don’t even think I need to explain it. Let me just give you an example of a conversation from a day in the life of Dominic:
Me: “Dommy, it’s time to come inside for dinner.”
Dominic: “But whyyyyy?” with the biggest vocal fry you’ve ever heard (Howard Stern reference). Anyone else’s kid randomly start exaggerating everything they say so it sounds like they have an accent and adding vocal fry for emphasis?
Me: “Because it’s time to eat.”
Dominic: “But whyyyy?” With even more vocal fry this time than the first.
Me: “Because I said so.”
Dommy: “But whyyyy?!”
The Baby Voice
A classic, for everyone I think. Luca does it especially when he’s trying not to cry. It’s hard being the oldest in the house. The good news is this one’s easy to handle. I usually just say, “Try again like a big boy,” and he switches right out of it.
The Purposeful Underbite
Last summer, or maybe even last fall, Luca randomly started this underbite thing. He’d pop his lower jaw out so when he’d talk, play, or run around, he’d have this constant underbite and it would bug the crud out of me. Initially in the first few days I was concerned. I think I even called the dentist worried something was wrong with his teeth or jaw. (They laughed at me.) After a while, I’d see him do it and just scream, “Luca, TEETH!” and he’d know exactly what I was talking about while everyone would turn to me like “What??”
The Floppy Fish
I can. not. stand. the floppy fish during diaper changes. Luca never did it, but at times Dominic can be the floppiest of all. It ends up being the fight of my life, and usually by the end of it there’s poop on my hands, all over him, and the new diaper is hanging by a thread on his body while the old diaper is smeared into the playroom mat.
I don’t know if I spelled that right. But we call Luca the scooch sometimes. He’s got that “I know how to push your buttons and get away with it” personality. Totally takes after my husband. It’s no secret we’ve been struggling for a long time with Dominic’s physicality. He currently solves peer conflicts by hitting or biting, and his brother usually gets the brunt of it. But more times than not, if I happen to catch the lead up, I catch Luca doing something sneakily on purpose to egg him on. Poking him or pretending to bite him so that Dommy bites him back are usual suspects. We’ve called him “the scooch” or have said “you’re being a scooch” so many times now that he’s learned the context of it. He’ll even call Mike and I out when we annoy him. “Mommy, YOU’RE being a scooch!”
Guys…I could go on forever. There’s soooo many pet peeves of mine that I encounter on a daily basis. I think it comes with the territory of being type A and anal retentive. But you wanna know something? If there’s anyone who can be crowned the king of my pet peeves, it’s my hubby, Mike. I’m including him as an honorary bruise in this post. (Sorry, babe!)
The Never Put Things Back Where You Found Them
Because I’m type A and anal retentive, I’m over-organized to a fault. But I married the complete opposite of me. I’ve often wondered if he has undiagnosed ADD for several reasons, but the trail of breadcrumbs he constantly leaves behind everywhere he goes is a main suspicion.
Last week Tessa had another blocked tear duct. We keep the eye drops on hand because she gets them so often. Well, we lost the eye drops because the time before that Mike was the last one to use them and left them hanging around downstairs. You better believe any time I’d use them they’d be right back on her changing table where we keep all of her other supplies. Being home ALL THE TIME during this pandemic has exasperated this times 1000, and the good thing is once my frustration around said missing object is over with, we’re usually able to laugh about it.
The “Babe Where’s The…?“
This one gets me. Every time. I’ll just provide an anecdote to illustrate and I think you will all relate. I need Mike to change a diaper for me because I’m wrapped up with something else for a minute, so as he gets up he immediately locks eyes with me and says, “Babe, where’s the wipes?” Meanwhile, the wipes are exactly where we always keep them. Right there on the coffee table in front of him, or in the diaper bag by the back door.
OR here’s another classic. *Husband starts to open fridge* Before he even gets the door open far enough to see what’s actually inside the fridge, he says, “Babe, where’s the ketch-up?”. And then he proceeds to search for the ketch-up (sometimes even saying “Babe, I think we need more ketch-up!”), when in reality, the ketch-up is staring front and center on the shelf back at him. I come over to help him out, take one glance, and immediately pull the ketch-up off the shelf and hand it to him. My mother-in-law and I have commiserated lovingly over this one before.
The “I’m just going to mow the lawn real quick!”
Ladies, I think you all know this one. It’s that mysterious one where all of a sudden the kids are all going nuts, you can’t make anyone happy, and the hubby decides it’s the perfect time to mow the lawn. “It’ll only take me 20 minutes, I swear!”
3 hours later…*husband re-enters house from “mowing the lawn”*
Me: WTF took you so long?????
Him: I noticed the weeds growing through the fence so I weed-whacked, and I really liked using power tools because I felt manly so I decided to cut down a tree and chop some wood.
Me: (To myself) It’s the middle of summer, why in g-d’s name do we need wood right now?. *Throws baby at hubby.* I’m going to shower (Because the shower is every mom’s safe-haven, right?).
What’s your biggest pet peeve, either little’s or partner’s? I’d love to hear your stories…a good laugh is good for the soul. Drop a comment below. 🙂