Tessa was born in early January, meaning she got here just in time to avoid the nightmares of labor and delivery during COVID, but also just in time to spend most of her infancy in quarantine at home. I know every baby is different so I’m trying not to fall into the trap of comparing her to the boys. But there are some serious differences between the boys (who were very similar as babies) and Tessa that really make me wonder if this is just your typical girl baby or if these are legitimate symptoms of being a quarantine baby. Call to action for all the girl moms and/or quarantine baby moms out there: Curious to hear your thoughts on this stuff so be sure to take my poll at the end!
The bottle. The freaking dreaded bottle. I never experienced this nightmare with the boys, but now that I have, I have complete and utter respect and empathy for anyone who has also experienced this. She wouldn’t take a bottle when we started trying around 3 or 4 weeks after we established breastfeeding. I worked my tush off daily for a good 6-8 weeks by trying one bottle a day for 2 hours at a time so that she’d be ready to transition to my mom’s care once I went back to work for the end of the school year. For those two hours that we’d try each day, she’d fight it with every ounce in her body, and let me tell you, seeing that little teeny body with all that fight in it was both heart wrenching and impressive at the same time. We tried every bottle imaginable, from Dr. Brown’s to Comotomo to Olababy to Brezza. I’d go to Target and pull any brand bottle off the end cap displays to try. We tried all different temperatures from room temp to warm to hot to cold. LOL, cold. Finally after two months she just took to it one day with Nuk Natural Flow bottles (thanks Target end cap!). And she took it like a champ…for like two weeks. And just as spontaneously as she started, she decided she had enough and just plain stopped. She’s smart too, rather than wasting energy and fighting it, she’d just play with it in her mouth, spit it out, or blow raspberries with it, or just go to sleep to get out of having to take it. And because by this point daycares were closed and schools were closed, I didn’t have to send her to my mom. Flash forward to today; now school’s out for summer and we are still unsuccessfully trying (every other day because I just don’t have the energy to try every day). So, quarantine baby or diva baby?
The attachment to mommy/fear of others. I know, I know. This one is nothing to complain about. I actually love everything about this one. But Luca and Dominic were such independent infants, I wasn’t used to having my little bow need me, and only me (ok, sometimes dad too) 24/7. In fact, I remember two summers ago, I’d find a shady spot in the grass at the splash pad and lay Dominic down on a towel while I went towards the water to keep an eye on Luca, and I would literally watch him from 20 yards away (bad mom?!) and he’d be totally content for hours. Tessa not so much. Once we started to come out of house arrest softly (aka quarantine) and start to socialize (practicing social distancing, of course) with immediate family like grandparents and siblings, I was blindsided. My happy, cuddly, relaxed baby girl was now uncomfortable in new places. If it wasn’t our house or our yard, she’d tear up and panic. And I’m the type that needs to make it out of the house and stay busy to maintain my sanity, so I was so used to just toting the boys around with me as we did things when I was on maternity leave with them. And now, as we have furthered our social circle to close friends and family, anytime someone else is holding Tessa, and I’m in sight, she whines and cries. The one time I went to finally get a haircut and color (alone time!!!!) and left all the kids, including Tessa, with Gammy, she screamed and cried unless my mom showed her to her brothers to remind her she was with people she knew. Another time I left her with Nana so Mike and I could run to the grocery store, and she apparently screamed her lungs out once she realized I was gone. With that being said, I’ve had no problem being selfish and keeping her all to myself, but I am a little worried for if and when she ever starts daycare…no bottle AND stranger danger?! Poor Miss Darcy (shout out to our most amazing childcare provider!!)!! So, quarantine baby or diva baby?
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Ruby took to a bottle at 2 weeks no problem but she has loved food since the moment she was conceived!! Haha she’s a rare breed! But I’ve found that she was a lot more attached to me then Sawyer- he seems to be a lot more chill being passed around then she was! Boy or 2nd child syndrome!?
I think we come up with a lot of theories in our head as to why someone is how they are but I think 80% is they’re just born with a certain personality and the other 20% is environment!?
My two cents 😉 Love your posts! You’re a great writer and keep it interesting!
XO, Mac
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Diva baby all the way. I had one, too, and she’s still a diva! When she started daycare I had tried everything to get her to take a bottle, but she ended up just going cold turkey and starving herself all day (happily, with a smile, waiting for mom to keep me up all night) for the first few weeks of daycare. Should I admit that now this child is 9 and still prefers to sleep with mom when she can get away with it? Otherwise, she’s very pleasant in public and at schools, so I guess we’ll take it.
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I know there’s a slight age difference, but Grady definitely started experiencing the stranger danger anxiety once we started to come out of quarantine. Before COVID I was taking him everywhere and he was so used to being out and about hearing so many different noises and voices and was completely fine. So I’m sure some of the anxiety is normal, but I definitely think the pandemic heightened it bc he got used to to a simple and quiet environment here at home. But I have noticed the anxiety is definitely fading now that we have let our guard down a little. So I’m thinking the more and more Tessa gets used to different sounds and environments the easier it will get for her. But the extra snuggles and bond is definitely something special and a silver lining that the 2 of you get to experience together during this crazy time in our lives.
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